How to let go of grudges

I’d like you to try a simple experiment.

First, get an empty backpack and fill it full of stones. If you don’t have access to stones, you can use potatoes, canned food, or whatever else is handy, until it weighs about 30 pounds.

Got it? Great. Now put your arms through the straps and put it on your back.

For the second part of the experiment, find some small pebbles, the sharper the better. Put a dozen or so in each of your shoes, then put your shoes back on. Now, wear this backpack and those pebbles in your shoes for the rest of your life.

Outrageous? Stupid? Masochistic? Of course it is. So why would you do exactly the same thing by holding a grudge against someone?

Grudges don’t hurt the person who wronged you. They hurt you. And when you carry them around, they become a torture instrument of the person who injured you in the first place, punishing you again and again every time you take the grudge out and go over it.

When you look at it in terms of real physical harm, like the fatigue and pain caused by the backpack and pebbles, it’s easy to see the danger. But when it’s psychological pain, we tend to underestimate it, even though that can increase your stress level, make you susceptible to high blood pressure, and leave you feeling exhausted at the end of the day.

The ‘poor me’ syndrome

So why do we carry grudges? Why do we refuse to forget a slight somebody inflicted on us in the past, perhaps years ago?

Maybe it has to do with our normal need for attention. When we can pull an old grudge out, parade it in front of our friends or relatives, maybe we’ll get some sympathy. Maybe they’ll tell us how unfair life has been to us and that we’re really a good person who didn’t deserve such injustice.

Others will commiserate with us, pat us on the back and marvel at our bravery in holding up under such a load.

But if we were lugging that backpack full of rocks around, more likely they’d say, “What’s the matter with you? Stop doing that to yourself.” Actually, that’s probably what they’re thinking when you pull out your old grudges for the umpteenth time.

How to let it go

The first step in ridding yourself of these psychological anchors is to recognize that the only person being hurt here is you–certainly not the person who harmed you. There’s no nobility in making yourself miserable. There’s no reward in resurrecting painful memories, except a dose of fresh pain.

Only when you’re willing to admit that this is self-destructive behavior are you ready to start dealing with it. When you understand that periodically renewing your old hurts makes as much sense as walking on sharp pebbles will you be ready to stop punishing yourself.

The next step is to care more about your present and your future than about your past. Why ruin today and tomorrow with regrets from yesterday? Happiness is not just a matter of doing positive things. It also requires that we stop doing negative things.

Finally, acknowledge that like whiskey to an alcoholic, even a little wallowing in your old grudges can be deadly. You have much more control of your mind than you give yourself credit for. When you become alert to the these damaging thoughts, you’re better able to stop them in their tracks.

Forgive, forget, or both?

Forgiving is one of the hardest things we have to do, but that’s because we try to accomplish it with feelings instead of an act of the will.

Forgiving is always in your best interest. It stops the grudge from doing you future harm. That doesn’t mean you’ll forget. Forgiving still leaves a scar. Refusing to forgive leaves an open wound.

Often the only justice you’ll receive is the kind you’ll get when you refuse to let an old grudge continue to hurt you any more. Dropping that backpack and emptying those pebbles from your shoes will lighten you immeasurably for the rest of your journey.

You owe yourself that.

how. to. forgive. let. go. grudges. past. loved. one. relationship. best. way.

Goshuushou Sama Ninomiya-Kun episode 3

Episode 3

Reika is slowly adjusting to life as a maid. Yeah right. Ok she is busy spying on Mayu and Shungo as they go through various exercises in order to help Mayu get more accustomed to men. Of course all of those exercises involve hugging and possible nudity. Infuriated, Reika comes up an evil plan to teach Mayu a lesson.

At the end of school, before Mayu and Shungo leave for the day, Shungo’s classmate Okushiro stops by his desk and asks for his help. They are working on a class trip together and she needs his assistance with something concerning it. Shungo excuses himself from Mayu and goes with her. After Shungo leaves another student, Hinako comes up to Mayu and wants Mayu to go with her. Think of it as female bonding.

Shungo wants to know what Okushiro wants and she responds that she was given a list by the teacher and wanted to give it to Shungo. Confused why he had to leave the room, he races back to Mayu before something happens. On the way he is tripped up by Mayu’s brother Mikihiko. Mikihiko warns Shungo not to run in the halls and if any harm befalls his sister he will make his life hell. It seems he was bored and he took a job at the school.

Mayu and Hinako go into town and they walk into various shops that girls normally go into together. I won’t spoil the shops but I think guys will enjoy one of them a lot. But I do have to warn you there is something in the shops that will not make you happy. That is al part of Reika’s fiendish plan!

Shungo arrives at the shops right after the girls do and he manages to cause a distraction that allows the girls to escape. The girls don’t know of his self-sacrifice though. Later they end up on a park bench and this is where Hinako finds out that Mayu is (almost) like any other girl and they have similar likes. The love of manga. As a present of their new friendship Hinako promises to buy Mayu a present.

The next day in class Hinako stops buy and hands Mayu a bag. Inside the bag contains three manga. Two are sports and one makes Mayu blush. A teacher comes in and announces that there is a surprise inspection of everyone’s belongings. Mayu embarrassed is chased out of the class.

Another awesome episode.

Joes ReviewStuffBlog!

How to Write a Video Game Script

Writing a video game script offers a challenge that goes well beyond the normal realm of writing. But it is also something that can be tremendously rewarding in the scope of its creativity. Here are some guidelines and tips for writing a video game script.

Today’s video games are based in complex worlds and they tell stories. No longer does a player simply advance through repetitive screens slaying goblins and ghouls in a quest toward the goal. A player now expects to progress through a world where there is a rich history and a plethora of decisions to be made. This adds to the complexity of writing a video game script and it also adds to the richness of the creativity involved.

The first thing you need to think about is that writing a video game script is that it is not the same as writing a movie script. The two processes are similar and you do write a movie like script for your video game but that is only part of the process. There is a whole host of accompanying materials that you need to write for your game script. Here is an overview of what you need to write and why.

Write An Executive overview of the story in prose
This is the most important part of your game script and this is what will sink or float your script. This overview has to tell a compelling and unique story and it should tell the complete story from the opening scene of the game through the major steps all the way to the completion of the game. An overview like this can be almost any size and it would be very easy for this to be ten written pages or more. Remember that today’s video games are very complex and the stories can be very complex. This overview is also the most important part of the script. You would shop this to game developers to see if they are interested in developing it into a game.

Write a History and Background of the world
Video games are complete worlds and game designers need to know what the world is like and what kind of history it has. This will help the designers to visualize what the world will look like.

Create a Flowchart for the entire game – Your game is going to be very complex and there will be many decisions that the player will have to make and each decision opens up a whole new path for the player to take. Creating a flowchart is the best way to keep track of all the possible paths through the game.

Create sub-quests and write a prose overview of each quest
Sub quests can be simple or complex but each one is a story in itself and you must tell these stories.

Create character descriptions and bios for all the major characters in the game. Game designers need a complete picture of the characters in the game. Many of the non-player characters you create will pop up time and time again. And their story is woven deeply into the fabric of your world. You need to describe this relationship in detail to the game designers.

Write interactions with non-player characters
Your game will probably involve interaction with non-player characters (NPC’s). You should write out the dialogue and flowchart the choices the game player can make. These interactions are often critical to the story and they can take the player on very different paths toward the conclusion of the game.

Write Cut scenes – Cut Scenes are short animations or movies that come before or after major plot points in your story. A cut scene should always be written to enhance or describe the story. A cut scene is also a reward given to the player for achieving a major milestone in game play.

Writing the actual storyboard script
This is the final step in the whole video game script writing process and it is the most detailed. You do this step last because you need all the supporting materials to understand and describe this correctly. This part is very similar to that of a movie script. You progress through each scene of your story and you detail all the necessary information. Here is an example:

Scene 1:

Location: A dark cathedral with stained glass windows. An NPC is kneeling before a stone casket in the center of the main room

Music: background music of an organ playing introduces the scene but subsides

Characters: Main player, NPC named Thomas, seven were creatures

Player Goal: Discover the location of the underground lair

Action: Player must initiate discussion with Thomas, upon first contact we activate cut scene (1) where Thomas morphs into a were-creature and summons his were-minions. Main character must battle the were-minions then re-initiate discussion with Thomas.

Flowchart: No decisions made at this point: If battle is completed Thomas reveals the entrance to the underground lair and player advances to that level. If player is defeated in battle revert to death cut scene (11) and move to try again screen.

Notes: Player is locked in the cathedral and there is no exit. The only viable way out is to initiate contact with Thomas. Random were-creatures can be activated if player explores cathedral before talking with NPC.

Scene End

When writing a video game script you have to remember that your primary audience is not the game player but the game developer and what the developer needs is a complete picture of what your game is about. This means that you are not just writing a story but you are creating a world complete with a tone, sounds, characters, story, plot, and subplots. To successfully communicate this to the developer you need to use a whole set of creative tools and this is where video game scripts depart from normal scripts and open up a whole realm of creative possibilities. See more at Write or Die.

Ah. Well. Have fun I guess!

It’s Cold in Atlanta? For me it is.

I stepped outside this morning to go to the gym and… it was cold. Well, not really cold. But today’s temperature in Atlanta is kind of like the COLDEST that Phoenix ever got during my 17 years living there. Lol. Of course… Atlanta’s hot isn’t really anything compared to Phoenix’s hot. Even with the humidity. It’s not the same.

 Anyways, it’s Thursday and the world is… just moving along. Going to some place called unclaimed baggage this weekend to buy some gear for our trip to China. That should be a fun drive to Alabama. (Is there such a thing?)

But we should be able to stop at some awesome roadside places hopefully and eat some god awful food.. and maybe some great food… and write about it over at Eat All Day.

Have a great Thursday guys.

The Silly Struggle with Diet and Exercise

Okay. I have a general up and down struggle/problem with proper eating and exercise. Well, not really the exercise part, just the eating part. The problem is that the poor eating leads to not so great workouts so the bad eating does hurt the quality of my workouts. Of course it does. How can it not? I mean… eating a huge hamburger with EVERYTHING and a mountain of cheese on it is going to make me move as fast as the gravy down here in Atlanta… not very fast.

But I just… LOVE food! and I have a really hard time with doing things in moderation. Another part of the problem is that I’m actually pretty ‘fit’ right now, and really only need to drop about 10 lbs. But it’s 10 lbs of all fat, which is a lot and can really make you look much leaner. Amazingly, even though I did start my own restaurant review blog (Eat All Day!) I haven’t gained any weight… the muscle has probably shifted over to fat, but the scale is the same… which isn’t good… but it’s not all out bad.

So really, the goal is to find a better ‘middle’ between eating the good food at restaurants and not becoming some fat sloth cow from all of it… I’m beyond the usual ‘weightloss’ stuff. I see those infomercial ads for diet/exercise programs and I see the people… and everyone except for the ‘models’ they hire for the ads are just… normal looking to me… or not really ‘thin’ or ‘fit’ enough for me to say, ‘wow, they look great’… I’m sure I’m thinking too high in terms of where I want my body to be… but is there really such a place? ah. I’m sure there is but I’m not to the point where I’m gonna feel bad about wanting to be super-human and totally ripped and any other adjectives I wanna put there. It’s just that even though I’m not willing to let go of this obsession, I know it doesn’t matter. Tonight is volunteer-with-the-homeless-kids so I always understand that no matter what, I really have it good. To even be in the position where I can struggle with this body image problem… well of course I’m doing alright in life.

Anyways. It’s Wednesday and we still have 2 more days after today. The weeks aren’t getting any less busy for me so I guess I’ll just keep going. All Out.

animefit. eatallday. techfourfive.